Etiquette #2 - Ruining The Perfect Toast

Many of you have probably attended one form or another of a social event or gathering in your lives and most likely have seen or heard someone giving a toast. Be it a wedding, christening, bar mitzvah or graduation ceremony, a toast represents the verbal affirmation of the importance of said event and as most of our social conduct, it is governed by some simple rules.

Rule #1 - Order

As with introducing people to each other, there is a set order based on seniority of importance and stepping over it is usually frowned upon. In the case of dinner parties or any other form of casual event the host is always the first to give the toast. If the host does not initiate a toast it is definitely not your duty to take initiative.

In the case of wedding receptions the duty for the first toast falls on the best man and being tipsy or drunk when giving it is bad manners. If you ever find yourself in the position of best man, save the drinks for after the speech.

Rule #2 - Initiation

One of my biggest pet peeves is people initiating a toast by tapping their glasses with one of their eating utensils. Not only is the sound annoying but the act itself is pointless and is considered very bad manners. Same goes for clearing one's throat to command attention.The proper way to initiate a toast is by standing up and holding your glass at arm's length. In smaller gatherings, this act should suffice to silence everybody, however if in the presence of a larger audience, it is acceptable to say: "May I have everyone's attention please" or "If you could all turn your attention for a moment". Don't begin speaking until everyone is looking at you and the room has quieted down. The toastee never stands up and if the toaster is further away he or she just "air clink" their glasses in sign of recognition at the end of a toast

Rule #3 - The Speech/Toast itself

Most toasts can be divided into three parts: the introduction, the oration, and the toast proper. Present in all toasts given to an audience where some might not know you, the introduction explains who you are and what your relationship to the toastee(s) is. The oration is the meat of the toast, which you will have written and learned in advance! The toast proper is the simple act of raising one's glass higher and while facing the entire group, uttering one of the  following "to X" (where X is a person's name or to a concept, e.g. "to peace," etc.) or "Cheers!" etc. 

Other Toasting Tips and Rules

Sometimes, when the toast is finished, it is proper for the recipient of the toast to stand, without drinking, and say a few words. 

If you are participating in a toast, make sure that your glass is at least 2/3 full for the toast. It is considered bad toast etiquette to toast with an empty glass. 

It is never a good idea to not participate in a toast. If you are present at the event, you should participate in any toasts given while there! 

While alcohol is the traditional drink used for toasts, any drink will do, including punch, sparkling fruit soda or even soft drinks. When a toast is over, it's never good manners to applaud. You are signifying your agreement with your actions at the toast.